DYNAMICS OF LEADERSHIP (UHPS 6013) Topic 1: Introduction to Leadership

 https://drive.google.com/file/d/15gakHnIXGt547W6jj1aOdqUdGkyTAAKv/preview

PERVASIVE

It's a strong word to indicate how dreadful the influence of media makes people live in maniacal obsession. We are caged in this awful little realm. The spectrum of insanity is unbearable. Nothing could stop souls from devoting themselves to this intelligence. Hours and hours have drained, creeping at such a slow pace it feels like a blood-sucking creature. Until it drains. On the spur of moment, it ruins lives. The life of once you loved. Once you have made a promise. Then it will be all gone. Forever.

Welcome to Dynamics of Leadership Course!!

                                                                             

Week 1 (DOL Class)

17 October 2021

 

Assalamualaikum and Bismillah. I’d like to start my weekly reflection with a quote;

 

‘To begin a journey is never easy, but we have to start somewhere to reach the destination’ by Debasish Mridha. The quote is picked because it has been a great start to my semester as I had been struggling to figure out the prerequisites courses that I have to take this semester. Alongside all other courses,  this course makes me so much more excited to get started! Reading from the welcome notes by Dr Jamilah from the e-learning platform, by the end of this semester, I will be exposed to the theory of leadership and the dynamic relationship of leadership.

 

This course, Dynamic of Leadership UHPS6013 has given me a good impression. People say ‘First Impressions are Lasting Impressions'. So kudos to my lecturer Dr Roslizam for making it impactful. Dr Roslizam basically introduced us to the course outline, assessments that consist of weekly reflections, presentations, a short talk, and an e-portfolio. We were given topics for weekly presentations and each topic shall be presented by at least two students. I sanctioned the idea of having to co-present the topics with our course mate. As we are hitting the first semester, it is not really a good idea to shoulder each presentation topic alone. A big thank you to Dr Roslizam for allowing us to co-presenting to enhance the quality of our weekly presentation. 

 

Apart from that, there is an e-portfolio assessment that I would like to address. The e-portfolio is the online platform where students are required to post their profile, weekly reflections, report on talk from the expert (Week 11), and a column on Transformational Leadership. Having to post the e-portfolio perhaps via blog or website will encourage the students to be more engaged. As blogs or websites can be accessible by everyone as it facilitates students to be more creative and believe me it’s responsive too! Besides briefing us on the course outline, Dr Roslizam also talked about the overview of what is this course all about. 

 

 What made this first-week session a fruitful session was how I completely fathomed the gist of the overall idea addressed by Dr Roslizam. He boosted the students’ conceptual thinking by reflecting on the difference between leadership and being a leader. As far as I’m aware of both meanings, a leader embodies leadership mentalities and actions. It’s who you are as a person that makes you a leader. But holding a leadership position in an organization does not make you a leader. Leadership skills must and should be taught. The fact that leadership skills reflect the leader’s ability to lead. 

 

Something I would like to reflect on about this week’s session is human on the reflection of ‘Khalifa’ as a leader from an Islamic perspective. The basic concept of leadership from the Islamic perspective consists of religion, morals and humanity. A brilliant leader comes with the quality of being humane. And being human means having and using your heart to lead. At its simplest and rightful notion, being a leader is being you. Your team members will easily connect and respond to you if you are being sincere and natural. They connect with you and they trust you when you are being the best version of yourself. That is what inspires them. Last but not least let us be the best version of ourselves so we would be real and be vulnerable. Insha Allah. Assalamualaikum and goodnight.

It's been a while. 

To think that I'm not thinking right. Going through hurdles that might weigh me down. Having the thoughts of some hell of commitment that I'm going to commit. Gushing water reminds me of how the world has been crying for me. Loud. If I lose this battle. With the unseen enemy. That is my inner self. The one I've been talking to. The one person that will weigh me down. Way down. As if I'm being teased and battered and caressed by my own thoughts. Sipping and simmering in the depth of my mind. Sometimes overflowing and making itself noticeable. But worry not. It makes sense now. Crystal clear. Pellucid. So this is my journey. There are times when the roads are straight. Sometimes twisting, curving and meandering. There are ups and downs and potholes. Some delightful surprises. Some amusing discoveries. But they are still there. Waiting for me.  

Anxiety

Even when your hands are shaking and you feel you are far from enough and undeserving of happiness, do not let go..
God is right in front of you..
Though you may not be where you wanted to be..
You will find your way and your path..
Never once did I ever used to tell me that I am not enough..
because I am enough..What I bring to this world is enough..and I will be loved..

What kind of teacher are you?

What kind of teacher are you?

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you

And it's been awhile
Since I could stand
On my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say
That I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say
I love myself as well

And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear
When I'm with you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again, again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way
The candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember
Just the way you taste

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

  Staind - It's Been A While Lyrics 

Well I purposely post this song .. The fact that it has been a while since i left my blogging activity.. Will post more!!!

Kidz @ Kidzania

Ok firstly..i have to make a confession -- I'll drill in my head never ever go to kidzy places during school hols..never!
Reason why-- kids are like ants. But we parents still pay kidzania a visit just to check what the hype is all about..becauze i purchased d tix online, so we did not have to wait for d long queue. At the tix counter, they were given flight ticket, a watch n a cheque. They went to CIMB Bank to cash the cheque and were given 50 kidzos. The kids had to do everything by themselves as the mummy n dadsy were not allowed to enter and we can only watch from outside the entrance or window (there goes my rm35 adult ticket!!). But on top of that..d girls had fun n managed to do many jobs (instead of 3 or 4 jobs as been described by other bloggers).
They were d oreo factory workers, the secret agents, the people who work at stabillo shop making bookmarks??, the jewelry makers, paramedics, journalist, etc etc etc... All in all they had fun bcoz thats d most important.
Chiao!!

My last day being a student..

It is officially my last day.. After this, no more classes, just completion of thesis, thats it! It seems like just yesterday I was attending my class with Dr Aziah not knowing everybody's name, looking around the room with my new classmates... i was utterly impressed by how brilliant and passionate they were.. Goshh.. it has been the 3 most amazing years of my life. I’ve made awesome friends, had great craic and I will have so many memories that will last forever. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process as well.
To commemorate my last day being a student, I have come up with a list:

Top 3 things I will miss the most:

1) My friends – After we all got over our initial shyness I have made some really amazing friends. We crammed for tests together, cracked up during lunch and spent many weekends. I wish them the best of luck next year (crackin head with thesis..).

2) The food – Oh gosh, where to start. Nasi kukus ayam goreng rempah, the awesome nasi kerabu, nasi ayam Jayati, etc..


3) Our lecturers - dearest n most inspiring..

Tok Muda Western Food !!!

Just nak promote.. Last nite kami dinner at this place ~ ~ 
Tok Muda Western Food.
Location : Next to Petronas Jalan Peel. Alongside the MRT construction sana. Dulu sederet tu ialah SMK Cochrane lama. Sekarang Cochrane da pindah bangunan baru di Jalan Syahbandar.. Kalo senang nak cam tempat tu ada banyak teksi2 parking. Ok sila pegi sebab harganya sgt berpatutan.. Saya juga terkejut masa bayar becoz Chicken Chop yg such a big portion hanya RM9.. Spagetti Carbornara pon hanya RM6 plus sedap lagi.. So sgt worth !!

Exam owh no!!

Dear Allah, 

Please help me to clear my mind of any distractions.Help me absorb everything I study and help me know that You are with me and that I am not alone even if it seems as if the whole world is asleep.Give me Your strength in the morning.Renew me, and refresh my mind so that I remember everything I studied. Thank you for the gift of knowledge and the opportunity to learn. 

Dear Allah,

For whatever reason I did not prepare myself for this test (Statistics paper). I’m not asking for a miracle, but I am asking You to calm my nerves and help me remember this isn’t the end of the world.
At the end of the day any damage that is done will be reparable, even if that seems unlikely at the moment. I also pray that in the future I will do a better job of preparing. Amin yarabbal alamin...

Huwaaaaaa...

Monday, December 17, 2012

Postgrad owh postgrad..bile mau habis??

I have to admit.. pursuing master..at this age..is really challenging..bile umur dah meningkat..ianya tak sama masa kita belajar degree dolu2.. Tambah2 dgn komitmen as a wife n mother of three..perghhh lagi la jenuh..in order to maintain 3.6 cgpa ke atas..sangatlah perit dan pahit serta kelat. Ditambah lagi lecturer yg selalunya menganggap postgrad ni boleh self study..so here..saya berazam akan grad jugak2 tahun depan..insyallah...

From my little kitchen...

I just love cooking.. It is one of my favourite things - from going to the hypermarket and bringing the stuff home and preparing it, to cleaning the kitchen afterwards. So here are some of my products that I would like to share...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Things Always Get Better..

 

Dear Heart,

I know I have been wrecking you for the last past weeks (like literally !!). I'm sorry I've been busy with forever-packed schedule and a lot of things including school and those unsettling and uncompromising assignments. I don't mean to ignore you and I act as if you are invisible. We have been together and you have stayed with me through the ups and downs. But I believe that things always get a little worse before they get better. I promise you, as down as you feel, as bad as things seem, they always get better..

I'm sorry heart

Thursday, June 7, 2012

For Richer and Poorer, For Better and For Worse...

First and foremost, I would like to acknowledge myself for ignoring this blog for quite sometimes. When I started writing, I would like everyone to share the crack I'm feeling and definitely my experiences. Well, this phrase has been tingling around me for the past weeks as it reaches our 9 years anniversary, and I dont feel normal having this in my head all the time. "For Richer and For Poorer, For Better and For Worse, Till Death Do Us Apart..". Well, we actually have few versions of it including "Sahaja aku terima nikahnya.." Quote from Hadis Sahih Al-Bukhari the true meaning to this simple phrase.


"Aku tanggung dosa-dosa si dia dari ibu bapanya, apa saja dosa yang dia buat, dari dedah aurat hingga ke tinggalnya solat, aku tanggung dan bukan lagi ibu bapanya tanggung, dan aku tanggung semua dosa bakal anak-anak aku. Kalau gagal, maka aku fasik dan dayus; aku rela masuk neraka, aku rela malaikat Zabaniyah melibas aku hingga pecah badanku."


Ghee.. What's the significance emphasizing this when it does not apply?? The words aren't just words. When you get married, you make vows to each other. You promise to love, honor and cherish each other in good times, bad times, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. Doesn't matter. The fact that marriage should not be seen only "for better or worse" or "aku terima nikahnya si polan binti si polan" but should be served as a promise. Promise between Allah, between the husband and the wife. It is the first instance when "we" becomes "me" and when the commitment becomes vital. But don't be so modest. Let's be frank. Ironically, marriage today is seen as 'indifference', 'the brick wall', and 'one worshipping and another sleeping'. Marriage is often challenging. However, not all marriages fall apart. What if the person who sits in front of the 'jurunikah' really meant what they said? What if at the end of the day (20 or 30 years), we look across our bed at a face that we still in love with, that has been our faithful friend, our safest protector, our greatest gift. What if?


Im not saying I am the goddess of marriage and I agree marriage today might be tough. Yet, with God on our side, all things are possible. That is what I long for. That is what I promised to do. And that is what I have every intention of doing.


Happy Ninth Years Of Being Together...

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Read, Baby Read

 

I learned to make homemade Nasi Lemak from my mother, who learned from her mother, who learned from her mother….well you get the points. With each generation, traditions change and evolve slightly based on personal preferences, health concerns, or availability of ingredients. Well, she particularly loves to put a very large portion of Belacan and she believes that she is right in making a yummylicious chili paste. But I do have my personal reservations about using Belacan too much..I just..can’t.. Well, we probably have traditions similar to this Belacan thingy that we have altered over the years to suit our family's needs. It goes the same with reading. As I remembered, I never had any formal or informal home tutoring by my parents in teaching me to read. But today’s parent, it’s a must you know, because reading is so fundamental to all other learning in any curricular area! Parents who know a little about teaching reading can make a huge impact, you see. Education is important, in everything that our kids and ourselves do. Our job as parents is to step up and expose our kids as much as possible about the world around; of course by reading. I started reading with my 3 girls as early as 4 years old. Well it just takes time and patience. I hope these tips might help…

1.) Make time for your child In this fast paced world we need to make time for our children, let say, 20 minutes top! Between work, school, tuition classes, and whatever else you may have during the day, the time spent with your kid(s) is the most important! Kids have short attention spans anyway, so 20 minutes would be a perfect time to start reading every day.

2.) Have patience Every child learns at their own pace. How many times have you heard “Mama, penatlah!” or “Uuuwaaaa!”? If you are working with a struggling or reluctant reader, these words may be too common. The important thing is to create a fun and educational environment for the kids not pushing them over their limit. Patience is everything; your child may get frustrated with not getting something, but don’t worry, just take a break, or tell them that you will resume the ‘lesson’ later.

3.) Alphabet I started my daughter on learning her alphabet when she was 1 year old, though too young is no such thing. ABC wallpaper, mobiles, ect. can be used to enhance the alphabet to your baby. At about 1 year old, I wrote down all the letters of the alphabet, upper case and lower case, on a huge poster board and pinned it up in her room. Every day we would sing the alphabet and I would point to each letter as we sang them. Be sure to stress the importance of pronouncing ‘L,M,N,O, and P’.Do the alphabet chart before they go to bed, or whenever your time for teaching them is. ABC Coloring books are a huge help as well!

4.) Alphabet sounds After your child has mastered recognizing their alphabet, move on to alphabet sounds. We all know alphabet sounds, A makes the “ahh” sound, and so on so forth. Throughout the day, tell your child to repeat you when you say the letter followed by the sound of the letter. Make it fun. I.E. A says “ah” like this (act like you are going to the dentist and open your mouth wide and say ‘Ah’). My regular-yet-fixed-time of practising this is during teeth brushing!!Once your child sees that you are having fun, they will want to play more with you, and learn more too! Once you think your child has some of the sounds down, pop quiz them at any given time. “Mama doesn’t know what sound A makes, can you help out, please?”

5.) Time to read So, your child knows all their sounds do they? A-Z? Then this step is just for you! You get the GRAND opportunity to have your child read their first word to you! What an exciting time! Now they are all grown. My Mima's first reading book was 'Nenek Kebayan', I’ll never forget. Now Yaya started to read. My babies are reading!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Ipad Oh Ipad!!

Sebagai manusia, kita seringkali lupa tatkala dilanda musibah; waimah sebesar hati nyamuk sekalipun; pasti ada jalan penyelesaian . Teringat akan aku suatu ceritera yang terjadi semalam pabila Ipad kesayangan Super Ayah tiba - tiba "Unresponsive / Hang".. Kelam kelibut si ayah bak atuk tak kulum rokok gulung seharian..Ha! Gitu lah gayanya! Mula lah trajedi salah - menyalah berlaku..Super Yaya kata si Super Copya.. dan begitulah sebaliknya. Rumah dilanda garuda sebentar dan adegan tangis menangis, marah memarahi (nasib maki memaki kurang kami amalkan dirumah!)dan tunjal menunjal..ermm takde lah! Akhirnya Super Ayah mengambil keputusan untuk 'restore' semula application through desktop Apple yang bertapa di kamar tidur. Super Ayah (kononnya) mengambil langkah bijak untuk restore semula disebabkan skrin Ipad kesayangan tidak menunjukkan sebarang response walaupun sudah ditekan Home button berulang kali. Dan aku...menjadi pak pacak yang setia menunggu selama 85 minit tatkala skrin Apple menayangkan yang sesi restoration mengambil masa sekian waktu..Adoii.. Mama.. jugak... Akhirnya.. Ding! (Image bal lampu muncul tepat atas kepala). Mari kita Google apakah permasalahan yang melanda lantas kita boleh mendapatkan jawapan dalam 38 kelip mata! Yes, kata En Google, press Sleep Button dan Home Button simultenously for at least 10 seconds. Dah siap! Ipad kembali normal, semua orang gembira, Super Ayah tersenyum lega, Mama pun tak sakit kepala, namun....Super Yaya tetap menyalahkan Super Copya!! Budak2...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Penangan Posh Spice

Di keheningan pagi, sewaktu memandu pulang selesai membeli sarapan pagi, kereta terpaksa berhenti di lampu merah. Kelihatan seorang wanita berbangsa Cina melintas di hadapan merupakan perkara biasa dan sering - sering berlaku. Namun, apa yang menjadi luar biasa ialah sambil beliau berjalan, rambutnya yang bersinar, ikal, segar, sedikit blonde seakan - akan mengejek serumpun rambut yang berada di atas kepalaku. Tika itu juga seluruh kehidupan rambutku yang hambar, pudar, unevenly cut, bermain- main di ruang legar kelopak mataku.. Aku seharusnya menangis meminta ampun pada rambut yang tidak pernah dibelai sejak kecil.. Malu dengan Cina yang baru saja melintas. Tiba - tiba air mata bergenang, di kala itu juga aku mengharapkan keajaiban! Keajaiban yang mana indahnya kehidupan jika dapat ditukarkan kepada Posh Spice Hair cut!! Dengan perasaan dihimpit duka, aku bergegas pulang dan menelefon Super Ayah. Ishhh.. naive pula si dia apabila terus terang beliau mengakui yang aku perlu lakukan sesuatu terhadap 'benda' yang sedang bertapa di atas kepalaku yang kononnya merupakan mahkota wanita.. Super Ayah never lies...Sometimes I wonder how some women can juggle so many things in their life. Mahu menjaga anak - anak nan tiga pun hampir setiap malam aku harus bersilat inikan pula mahu menjaga rambut agar kekal secantik Posh Spice! 
Dengan berbekalkan keazaman yang tinggi, ku telefon si dia semula. "Anak - anak perlukan new haircut for new school term!!" Namun jauh disudut hati Tuhan saja yang tahu betapa Diri ini yang sebenarnya memerlukan new haircut.. Bohong sunat kadangkala diperlukan untuk keharmonian rumahtangga. Lalu, hujung minggu itu, ku angkut suku dozen anak - anak untuk mendapatkan wajah yang segar dan semestinya potongan rambut yang bersesuaian. Nah, siap anak - anak, sekarang giliranku. Bagi mendapatkan potongan Posh Spice, potong, rebonding, ironing, treatment waimah syampoo, dan serum sekalipun sudah bermain - main di kotak fikiranku.. Zap! Zap ! Siap! Anak - anak bertiga datang mengelilingku.. Wahhh, mama cantikkk! "Okay siap Amoi.." Tiba - tiba si nyonya penggunting rambut memanggilku Amoi. ( Mahu bodek barangkali .. ) Ka - ching! Time to pay!! Rm350 melayang demi mendapatkan kepuasan yang jitu. Tiba - tiba nyonya menjerit "aiyaaaa... Amoi balik sula pakat tulung!! Lambut losak woo.." Aku tersenyum lantas keluar dari salon..Dalam kenderaan, hati serasa girang. Fesyen rambut yang diidamkan kini menjadi milikku WALAUPUN hanya disebalik tudung.. Aku sambung senyum...



Yeayy!! New haircut!!






"snip-snip"

Friday, December 16, 2011

Sori Sori Boboi Lari..

Derr...taktau nak cakap cmna.But in most days, ada satu hari yang saya akan tertunggu - tunggu untuk gelak tunggang langgang iaitu Jumaat; Hari Bermaharaja Lawak Mega..Im very the kipas susah mati Boboi..Kalau ada merchandize Boboi harus saya beli utk kelengkapan anak2 sekolah okay!!! Ada satu minggu yang Boboi perform lawak musikal and Im overwhelmed dengan lirik lagu die.Super Lawak..Super Power..Go Boboi.

Boboi Maharaja Lawak Mega - Lirik Lagu SORRY SORRY BOBOI BENTAN

Boboi Maharaja Lawak Mega
Sneak preview lirik lagu Boboi malam ini.

SORRY SORRY BOBOI BENTAN
Penyanyi - BOBOI
Lirk - BOBOI script team

Dance Dance Dance Dance

Sakit sakit Dowh!
Sakit sakit Dowh!
Sakit sakit Dowh!
Sakit sakit Dowh!

Awww, aw, aww, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw...

CHORUS
Sorry sorry boboi lari
nekad nekad hendak lari
Boboi memang belum ready
Boboi Tak nak sunat lagi

Sorry sorry boboi lari
Boboi tengok pisau ngeri
tok mudim nampak tak steady
tangan gigil tak berhenti.

VERSE 1
Papa kata tidak sakit
rasa macam semut gigit
jadi kenapa budak tu jerit
sampai tercirit-tercirit

VERSE 2
papa memang suka tipu
untuk sedapkan hatiku
knapa papa buat begitu

Nanti yang sakit aku

VERSE 3
Papa kata tok mudim
hanyakan potong secebis
tapi kawan kita kata
tok mudim potong habis

CHORUS
Sorry sorry boboi lari
nekad nekad hendak lari
Boboi memang belum ready
Boboi Tak nak sunat lagi

Sorry sorry boboi lari
Papa kejar dengan rotan
Boboi memang anak jantan
cuma takut layan...

Bentan tan tan tan tan tan tantan
Ben tan tan tan tan tan tan
Takut tak boleh jalan

Bentan tan tan tan tan tan tantan
Ben tan tan tan tan tan tan
tak suka pantang makan

VERSE 4
Minggu ni ge ge ge gerl ada ajak ku keluar
Macammana nak pergi kalau tak boleh pakai seluar

Pakai skirt!

Jalan sikit .. dah sakit

Naik bukit .. dah perit

Boboi jerit ... melecet dok dok dok dok dok dok!

papa kata kalau ku sunat
dia beri ku duit
Boboi kata Papa banyak bini
simpanlah duit

Kalau nak jadi dewasa
kenalah potong dulu
Boboi tak takut dipotong
takut nurse tengok malu

CHORUS
Sorry sorry boboi lari
nekad nekad hendak lari
Boboi memang belum ready
Boboi Tak nak sunat lagi

Sorry sorry boboi lari
Papa kejar dengan rotani
Boboi memang anak jantan
cuma takut layan...

Ben tan tan tan tan tan tan tantan
Ben tan tan tan tan tan tan
gatal-gatal tak tahan

Ben tan tan tan tan tan tan tantan
Ben tan tan tan tan tan tan
Garu jangan pakai tangan

BENTAN DANCE BREAK

CHORUS END
Sorry sorry boboi lari
nekad nekad hendak lari
Boboi memang belum ready
Boboi Tak nak sunat lagi

Sorry sorry boboi janji
Mungkin satu hari nanti
Bila Boboi dah berani
Potonglah ikut sesuka hati....

Sakitttt......
aw aw aw aw aw awwwwww!!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

My life as an English Teacher... (Part 2)

It feels like only yesterday when I started my first day of teaching, set out from my home with a packed lunch and a book entitled ‘Teaching English For Dummies‘. The time flies very fast and it’s already beginning of the fourth semester. My life as M.Ed student has always been filled with surprises and difficulties. Sometimes, we are left to face these challenges alone (because we are adult learners). We then begin to think how much education has contributed much to the success of others. For this, I believe that my education as a young child has contributed much to who I am today. I believe that English was one of the many subjects that have helped shaped my future. Talking about belief, last weeks, Dr Nabila did mention about how I go about teaching my students. How effective have I been as a teacher and if I have not been effective, what would I do to improve myself.

How do I teach my students? Well I feel that one of my goals as a teacher is to help and guide my students so that they can teach themselves. I also beliefs, practices and attitudes are important for understanding and developing educational processes. They are closely linked to my strategies as teacher for coping with challenges in my daily professional life and general well-being. The beliefs, practices and attitudes help to shape my students’ learning environment and influence student motivation and achievement. As teacher, my beliefs on how I should teach my students involve strong emotion and judgment and therefore, I am quite resistant to change the way I teach them. Teaching involves multiple, simultaneous decisions related to content pedagogy, student relationships, praise and discipline, materials of instruction, and interactions with colleagues. Teachers do not possess templates to guide their work. Rather, teachers draw upon past experiences and their own ways of approaching problems. Hence, we develop our own solutions based on our personal understanding of the circumstances, an understanding that is rooted in our belief systems. For instance, some teachers might think that they must stand in front of the classroom to monitor the students’ learning and understanding. Actually not necessarily they must stand in front of the classroom but they might as well walk around the classroom. Some might also believe that they are the one who always do the work such as correcting, marking, preparing task for the students. It is because, by giving them task, and correcting them, the teachers are able to check the students’ understanding and maybe re-teach the lesson when necessary. Then again, teachers nowadays prefer to practice peer editing where their peers are responsible for assessing their friends’ piece of work. Students must have a clear understanding of what they are to look for in their peers' work. It also encourages students to become independent learners and can increase their motivation.
There is saying;

“There are many kinds of seeds in us, both good and bad. Some were planted
during our lifetime, and some were transmitted by our parents, our
ancestors, and our society. Every time we practice mindful living, we
plant healthy seeds and strengthen the healthy seeds already in us.
Healthy seeds function similarly to antibodies. If we plant wholesome,
healing, refreshing seeds, they will take care of the negative seeds,
even without our asking them. To succeed, we need to cultivate a good
reserve of refreshing seeds.”

by Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step


There are many questions from the society nowadays whether the teacher is qualified enough to teach or whether a teacher possess a good quality in teaching the students. Those question are certainly an intriguing one, and, for a teacher teaching at urban school like me, a pressing one. Our society these days are divided in to two different way of thinking on the education. Some believe that communicative methods are better than the traditional method of teaching but yet these two methods are both a successful way. In my opinion, every method in teaching is the same because the teacher delivers the same message to the students. Therefore there are pros and cons to it. The pros for humanistic traditional methods are, teachers shouldered too much of responsibilities for teaching in the classroom to make sure everything they thought were understood by the student. Thus it was a good method, where there was efficient communication between teacher and students. There was also the typical way and a controllable class where the teacher would teach on the whiteboard, explained, asks students to copy and made sure students paid attention and listen. I’m free to express myself and give tons of work with my 1 Melur class (of course good class) but, with my other class (the poor one), I have to be more animated. I need to dig up their ideas and induce them to speak up and give responses. Besides that, the traditional way in disciplining students in school and teaching them was an effective way in building a good characteristic student where students were afraid of their teacher and respect them. Well, it works for me though!

Nevertheless, we as teacher need to be creative and vary our teaching method. I do sometimes find students who are resistant to or unfamiliar with learner-centered teaching. By using Vigotsky’s theory and scaffold resistance learners, I usually use activities with small groups. They will have some individual activities and then some group activities. For both they will get credit. Students notice that working with peers really helps them to understand better the material and as a bonus, they get better marks. Because I allow them to work in groups, I have noticed that at the beginning they want to work by themselves but after having the discussion in small groups, they get to know each other and find out that it is worth working in groups. I think it really helps to create ‘learning communities’ among the students and it means that when they come to class, they feel as part of the social interaction and networking going on (Wood, Bruner, Ross, 1976). I believe that doing this (scaffolding) really makes a significant difference in the level of student resistance in my classes.

Besides that, in order to have the students to become communicatively competent, how do I go about teaching them is by creating a learning environment in my language class. Sometimes, before I start the lesson of the day, I observe my surrounding. Few questions revolve around my mind. Whether the physical space of the classroom is managed as I prepare the classroom for the students. Is the space warm and inviting? Do the students have access to necessary materials? Are the distracting features of a room eliminated? In my opinion, the most essential part of encouraging communicatively competent is the teachers who encourage students to do their best and to be excited about what they are going to learn. To be motivated, students must see the worth of the work that they are doing and the work others do. I demonstrate the value and show my students how their work is worthwhile and is connected to things that are important for them, including other learning and interests. One way that I use to encourage effort is through specific praise, telling my students specifically what it is that they are doing that is worthwhile and good. In my language class, there are lots of movable chairs, frequently, during my lesson, I ask students to sit in a semicircle so that they can see one another. Research reported by Beard and Hartley (1984) shows that people tend to talk to the person sitting opposite them rather than the people sitting next to each other and tend not to talk to one another.

What makes a great and effective teacher? Teaching is one of the most complicated jobs today. It demands broad knowledge of subject matter, enthusiasm, a caring attitude and a love of learning, and a desire to make a difference in the lives of young people. For instance, because I am the class teacher and subject teacher who teach English in that class, it arouses my interest in providing and creating self-access facility at the back of the class. It is just as simple as a cupboard or shelf containing activities that students can do on their own in order to give them extra practice or extension to what they do in class. The materials include magazine articles with questions and answers, puzzles, quizzes, graded readers and so on. Besides, the students are encouraged to bring in or produce materials for the self-access facility. In my opinion, self-access materials have the advantage of allowing the students to work at their own pace on an activity targeted to their needs which is not always possible in a regular classroom. If they finish their class work early or want to work on something during their free time, they can choose something from the self-access facility. As my students become more self-aware, I hope they will recognize that they need extra practice in certain areas and this facility will make sure that they are assisted in finding appropriate activities. Study after study shows the single most important factor determining the quality of the education a student receives is the quality of an effective teacher teaches.


However, not all teaching methods that I have applied work for all the lessons. Sometimes, I found my lessons were interesting and effective but sometimes it did not. There are also some of the factors that could hinder communicative classroom. Changes such as introducing to new syllabuses and new teaching method or to new peer groups and surroundings may leave the learners feeling emotionally insecure and vulnerable. For example, early last year, KBSM has introduced new syllabus of English Literature for Form 1. It is not only limiting the communicative environment in the classroom among the learners but sometimes the teachers as well. For example myself, I have undergone the course for English Literature new Cycle and need to teach the students the new syllabus. Surprisingly, the course was only conducted for two days and we have to come back to school and teach all literature elements of the new poems, short story, and graphic novel. I felt like I did not have enough exposure towards literature aspects and yet need to teach my students. Other factor that could hinder communicative classroom is high distractibility. For example in my school, the students are loaded with abundant of stuff. They might face this with difficulties and find it’s extra hard to settle the work. Other factor might be something on the background of the students. These include a poor or depressed background in which the child has no encouragement to read or to use language , in which there are no facilities for home work or private study , and in which the values the school are rejected and perhaps even held up to ridicule . In my school there are many cases of actual physical rejection, brought about by a broken home or by any other family problem. Some of the learners are lack of motivation. Motivation is one of the basic factors of participation. Motivation in simply language means interest. Learning is directly proportional to our interest in learning. Some students, they might have the feeling of fears. Sometimes, fear limits us even before we get startled. We do not try our best, because we are afraid of failure and perhaps ridicule.

Yes, I admitted sometimes I might not be an effective teacher and not having effective classroom learning. But most of the time, my ineffective lesson is due to the non participative students. Well, there is always room for improvement. Like what I have implemented in my classroom, I identify those students who have lack of lacking participation in the class due to their weaknesses. I always give extra and proper attention towards those students and involve them in different types of activities with peers. Besides, I encourage parents to give proper attention towards their children by having regular contact with me. The class should properly be cleaned and well decorated especially with English materials. In my opinion, proper sitting arrangement in the classroom can boost up students' participation so that students may have no difficulty in viewing the whiteboard, or listening to what I said. As a form teacher, I always ensure the smaller students will be seating at the front rows in order to have effective learning. Besides, by putting them seating next to different races might encourage them not to use their mother tongue all the time. Students who are facing language problems I gradually use with them a lot of activities involving listening and speaking such as presentations, dialogues, develop peer to peer relationship among students and other activities should be conducted in the classroom for increasing confidence.
I have also noticed that many teachers live and die by the student book. I mean, they do all the activities in the books and they do all the exercises in the teacher’s book. There is no personalization and students find it difficult to relate. Apparently, (for me) teachers are supposed to abandon their textbook and create their own banks of interesting and creative tasks. Personally, I do what works best for my students. In order to improve teaching, a good teacher need to adapt, able to negotiate and see what the students want because they are your audience and your clients. If the teachers only work with the student using books all the time, then they become predictable and the classes become boring. If I were a student and had a teacher that only did the workbook then I would miss many classes because I can just stay at home and do the same thing! Where is the value in coming to class to learn something from the teacher if I could do it on my own? The students nowadays learn for examination and I think that it (examination targets) kills the joy and excitement of some teachers in implementing or using creative tasks in their classroom.


I confessed those days I was not a good teacher. Because of the situation and the management of my school that kept pushing all the teachers around, I decided to turn towards the ‘easy way’ by focusing my classes on grammar and most of the time I conversed in mother tongue with the weaker classes (easy for me to convey message!). As a result, some students did not feel much motivated toward my class, I mean, towards English language. During those times, nothing much I could do. The situation pushed me to implement the traditional methodology. There are other factors that trigger me to change 360 degrees. Now, I feel guilty and regret of my own attitudes because I realize that I could have done something better for those girls. I am now more resourceful teacher, and aware of my social responsibility and I have been able to develop many meaningful strategies to work with my students. However, many issues rose that argue the classroom activities should as far as possible mirror the real world and use real world or authentic sources as the basis of classroom learning. Issues that aroused are authentic materials often contains tough and inappropriate language. Besides, authentic materials are burden for teachers. Then again, since English KBSM textbook has become much more authentic ‘look’, some reading passages in the textbook are design to look like magazine articles or real printed postcard, real menu, and even flight ticket. Very interesting!

Well, for me, in the beginning, I had a great challenge to change from the teacher-centered to the learner-centered approach. After years of teaching, I managed to focus on learners' learning; however I did not totally cast away my authority. I just tried to hit balance with my goal and objective to train active and independent learners. It was a tough mission, as you can imagine. I started it small, little by little. It's unlikely to change students' habit of depending on teachers to "feed" them overnight, you know. So, we need to have patience to teach them "How to Learn on Their Own." During that ‘dark era’, I believed that learners are unique and distinct. Their individuality and uniqueness must be attended to and taken into account if they are to engage in and take responsibility for their own learning. So, I had tons of patience those days. Now, I’m fine and comfortable with both methods. I think being very available and approachable teacher is important. Even though I try and train my students to be self-sufficient in their learning as much as possible, when they are starting out with the student-centered learning things I think they need to know that I am there as a support to help them if needed. Then they may be more willing to go out on a limb and try new things.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

My life as an English Teacher... (Part 1)

As I start the new semester, I think it is an important idea to stop and think about who I am as a teacher. The word ‘teacher’ can mean a lot of things. As a teacher, I have always thought it was very helpful to actually know who I really want to be. I think it is important to have a clear self-concept of our own ‘teaching personality’. There are questions such as ‘who am I?’, or maybe more to the point, ‘who do I really want to be at the moments?’, or ‘do I have what some people occasionally refer to as a personality role model?’ Most people who have been students in college can probably recollect certain of these characters as being among their own teachers or lecturers. I feel that being a teacher has become a bit more directed when a person has a personality role model. Over the years of my teaching career, there have been a seemingly infinite number of times when I have been completely trapped as to what action to take when faced with a troubling situation. So I think it is great to have role model to provide guidance.
By taking five personality tests, I discovered that some interesting things about myself. First, were Carl Jung and Isabel Briggs Myers Personality test where I scored relatively high in the dimensions of introversion, intuition, feeling and judging (INFJ). According to Carl Jung's theory of the ego, described in 1921 in Psychological Types, a high score on intuition merely;
‘defined as "perception via the unconscious": using sense-perception only as a starting point, to bring forth ideas, images, possibilities, ways out of a blocked situation, by a process that is mostly unconscious.’



Me & my English colleague

Jung also said that a person, in whom intuition was dominant, acted not on the basis of rational judgment but on absolute strength of perception. As an intuitive, I have my own ideas about teaching and probably prefer to write my own syllabus so it would be a perfect fit for my students. I like to read between the lines and look for meaning rather than the hard facts. I value my own imagination and seriously trust my own intuitions and feeling. Well, obviously everyone uses their five senses to relate to any circumstances, but I prefer my ‘sixth sense’ to derive meanings, relationships, and possibilities from facts. I just believe my ‘senses’ would be able to solve problems or make interpretations. I remembered a situation that happened when I invigilated an examination. I followed through on my senses and apparently my suspicions were correct when I was able to intuit the students’ slickness of their moves which was so dismaying. I straightaway went to those who were cheated and immediately seized their papers. I decided that these students might learn some lessons. Besides, as an intuitive, I regularly rely on my senses of direction to get to a new place compared to my husband, who would look at a map or would likely read the instruction manual before assembling my kids’ toys.
Since I scored high in introversion, Marina Margaret Heiss (2002) describes me as a person who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or soul mates. Yes, I am an introvert, which means I am at my best when I have sometimes for myself to reflect, appreciate, and plan. I usually prefer being alone, or with my immediate family. When at school, I am very outgoing and friendly, but yet, sometimes the nonstop contact (with students, parents, colleagues, or administration) seems to just worn me out. I was aware of this possibility going into teaching, but still felt it was my calling, and was inspired by the fact that top celeb such as Oprah have the same personality type I have and they obviously contributed great things in dealing with extensive human contact. But, honestly, I sometimes wonder if it is possible to be truly happy and effective as a teacher and at the same time, be an introvert. Some days, I just really shrink from having a room full of students all day and the thought of attending a panel meeting is also often a downer. I am not really preferred to discuss situations or pour off ideas in the meeting. I would rather have time to think through them, and then apply the solutions. Although I love being a loner, however according to Myers Briggs, introverts like me, particularly and highly sensitive in handling others and tend to work well in an organizational structure. I really agree with Briggs enlightenment in which I have the capacity for multitasking jobs, which require privacy and concentration, but at the same time, I also do well in making contact with my colleagues. For me, lengthening the human relationship is not superficial as long as we are able to talk honestly and comfortably to our colleagues at work is much more important.

Being a feeler, again according to Myers Briggs, I am a person who considers how much I care about an issue and what I feel is right. Myers describes ‘feeling’ which refers to decisions based on someone’s personal values. Our society promotes for gender stereotyping by encouraging women to be more feeling in comparison to men. In reality, the statement is actually true. It is happening in my school where female teachers especially me, tend to be more lenient in giving marks to the students compared to male teachers. In terms of disciplinary strategies that I practice at school, I tend to be loving and communicative but wield little control and set few demands for mature behavior of my students. Besides, I instill warmth and nurturance as well as more classically warm laissez faire teaching style. Naturally I like to please others; and I praise and admire people easily because I think praise could be a motivational and rewarding tool in classroom learning.
For a mother of three like me, praising is crucial! I once read an article written by Michelle Dugger, a mom of 19 children saying that ‘The one who praises a child wins a child's heart’. I gave the idea a lot of thought and casually started trying it out on my three children. Then I started praising. I started complimenting my children’s’ good behavior, seeking to find the nice things to say and keeping criticism to a minimum. My voice sounded sugary sweet to my own ears and sometimes I even annoyed myself a little. My kids, on the other hand, ate it up like free ice – cream candy. Searching for areas where I can praise my children is very encouraging to me. It is like seeing a glass half full instead of half empty. Catching them in the act of being good is so much more fun than the opposite. Yeah, that’s me!
Because I scored high for ‘Judging’ in all Personality Tests, according to Jung, a person who dominant in judging personality interest in dealing with the world and in making decisions, expressing judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, ‘judgers’ are quick to express judgments. Often they develop intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. Person of this type may find themselves frequently misunderstood. But for me, when it comes to dealing with the outer world, people tend to focus on making their own decisions because they tend to like things decided. I use my decision-making (Judging) in almost every aspects of my life. I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible.

As parent, planning and organizing are my thing because my entire life now revolves around preparation, setting up and making plans. Make shopping lists, shop once a week, cook while my baby is asleep even if it is hours before dinner time, set the breakfast table late at night if the mornings are stressful and hectic and so on. Oh! Not forgetting count at least an extra half hour just to get out through the front door if I have an important meeting at school. It is easy to get swamped down and overwhelmed by all of the logistical, planning & organizational aspects of running a home with three children and pets and toys always underfoot. I would just be overwhelmed and stressed the whole time. But it has turned out to be a great lesson on how I can be a better mom, a more organized mom, and given me some much needed faith in myself as to what I can do. When I spend just a little bit of time planning ahead everything goes a whole lot better for me and the kids. I find myself planning and I like the way this feels and don’t want to stop. It feels good being a better mom and I want to be the best mom I can be.

Well, being a judger, the following statements by Myers generally apply to me:
- I like to have things decided.
- I appear to be task oriented.
- I like to make lists of things to do.
- I like to get my work done before I can relax.
- I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline.
- Sometimes I focus so much on the goal that I miss new information.


So all in all, as INFJ, what do I need to do? And the even better question is: How can I improve myself to achieve my deepest desires while still maintaining myself as what I am now.

As an example, as introvert, intuitive, feeler and judger, I admit that I am a loner and need more friends. Finding more friends is a good idea and this will push me to overcome my fear, but will also give myself the limit I need. I will be taking best care of myself by keeping people in my life to achieve my goals, but also accepting that I am an introvert so I cannot push to exhaust myself. The truth is that we should identify our personality traits to help us constantly improve to learn and grow. We know ourselves best, so we should know when to give the limits and make the adjustments. The other thing I've had to learn the hard way is to try to draw people out to learn things about them. I have a tendency to tell them too much about myself too quickly, and in the end I always feel that I've betrayed myself somehow. But there is always a way to gently draw someone out without being too nosey or revealing too much of yourself right away. I have found that, spirituality is really important for me. Without that spiritual side of me, I sort of become weak. It is important for me to spend quiet time in nature, I consider that spiritual, and it nourishes me like nothing else can. When I attend to my spirituality, other important aspects of my life seem to fall into place much more easily.

Another thing that I really struggle and need room for improvement is the details. I think, I am just giving too much. An INFJ mother like me may sink toward the idea of getting the family and household organized and in order; regular baths for small children, weekly laundry, daily meals, and picking up mess; which sometimes can be exhausting. The INFJ mother may be likely to over-accommodation and self-sacrifice as a way to maintain family harmony. I am actually struggle with the result and perfection. Well, I think most INFJ spend time obsessing about details that don't matter to anyone else. I need to improve myself by letting go of the idea that I have to be all things to all people. All I need is just ask members of my family to choose the things I do regularly and let go of the rest of it for them to handle.

Last but not least I need to improve is by not praising too much. Mary Budd Rowe, a researcher at the University of Florida, discovered that students who were praised lavishly by their teachers were more tentative in their responses, more apt to answer in a questioning tone of voice ("Um, seven?"). They tended to back off from an idea they had proposed as soon as an adult disagreed with them. And they were less likely to persist with difficult tasks or share their ideas with other students. In short, I notice that praising too much of my kids does not restore their confidence level; eventually, it makes them feel less protected. It may even create a ‘nasty’ circle such that the more I load them with the praises; the more they seem to need it, so I praise them more. Sadly, the kids will grow into adults who continue to need someone else to stoke them on the head and tell them whether what they did was ‘good’, ‘perfect’, or ‘good job’. Surely this is not what we want for my daughters. So, less praise given to them but more of supporting and encouraging, the need to love, hug and help them feel good about themselves.

In a nutshell, as reminder to all INFJ as well to myself, in order to life a better life, I need to nourish my strengths and face my weaknesses. I really have to observe my weaknesses for what they are, and search ways to overcome them. Especially, by making an effort to use my judgment against my internal ideas, rather than ignoring other people’s thought. Besides, I need to go through my thoughts and take in everything without dismissing other people’s ideas prematurely. Instead of becoming obsessed with the details, I need to keep an eye on the big picture and take a big step back but make sure that I can still see the goal. Lastly, despites of everything else, all I need is just to relax.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Kids Plus Me!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Teaching Courseware

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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Messy Life..

When I was a young adult, I had my own apartment. It was tidy every day. I loved it. The solitude. The quiet. The cleanliness. I must have eventually become bored (although I have absolutely no recollection of that feeling) because . . .

Then I got married and had children, sharing a house with my husband and toddlers. My home was messy. Every. Day. It used to drive me nuts. I swear I spent most of my brain power on either fantasizing about my pre-child days or on managing my passive-aggressive anger toward the entire messy clan. I finally got over it.

The water-resistant sun block coming from nowhere..

The turning point came when I realized that

A) children are messy. They are messy because neatness isn’t really necessary for them to flourish. In fact, the opposite is true. And

B) the house is reasonably sanitary and organized, in spite of “them” (read: it’s not ME that’s the problem). That extra little bit that makes it “perfect” for me is what was putting me into a spin. So, I let go.

The result? On a good day, my family is creative, growing, happy, interested in life, responsible for their own things. My house is where the neighborhood kids come to play. As I type, there are 3 more kids in my floor.

On a bad day? Well, let’s not go there.

I don’t miss that tidy, quiet apartment anymore. Not often, anyway. Organized is planned. Tidy is structured. Everything in its place is predictable. But messy is spontaneous, unexpected, fun, and creative. It makes me feel young.

Which might explain why so many grandparents (like my mom) don’t seem to mind having their grandchildren’s things ooze all over their house . . . .

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DYNAMICS OF LEADERSHIP (UHPS 6013) Topic 9: Leading Self – Managed Teams

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